I'm Committed

Over the past month, I embarked on this crazy journey into The Asylum.  I committed myself physically, mentally and emotionally.  I pushed my body to limits I never thought I could reach.  I willed myself to finish when the end seemed unreachable.  I stepped outside of a physical comfort zone and stripped many layers of emotional stress I'd been dealing with for months.  For 30 days, I was IN IT!  This is how I did it.

Dear Shaun T...

Mama Kat's assignment this week.



Write a list of 10 things that are sure to put a smile on your face when you are not happy.


Dear Shaun T,

Today is officially my last day of the Insanity 63-Day Challenge.  The weeks have swiftly passed as my body has slowly transformed.  I was hopeful for change, yet expected little.  I stayed cautiously optimistic, but remained realistic about the results I would actually have.

Who knew that I would become the testimony that motivated me to start?  What was it that made the difference?  How was I able to have the success I did? 

Being "in it" did not make me happy.  I often cursed the TV when you would make me do those dreaded Power Jumps for one full minute.  You made me so furious when you would take a break but would expect me to keep digging deep.  I was not amused by your "it's not a coffee break" comment when I was allowed a mere 30-second recovery. 

You did not make me happy Shaun T when you made me do all those crazy push-ups and the running floor drills, or diamond jumps.  I wanted to punch you in the face sometimes, but alas...I had no more energy.  In fact, you made me cry a couple times after completing the last interval of Max Interval Circuit.  You completely broke me.  Sometimes I wish I could have dunked your head in my pool of sweat and tears.

But then I would finish.  I had all this energy.  I started to realize that you weren't trying to make me unhappy, you were making me better.  Like Kanye says..."N- n- now th- that don't kill me, can only make me stronger!"

For all that pain I endured for holding a plie squat for five minutes, the anger I felt every time you stared right into my eyes and said, "You Can Do It", and the dread I experienced when I popped in that DVD, I am so grateful for even more.

Today I'm smiling not because I completed the challenge, but because you made want to complete another round.  I realize without you pushing me and making me so incredibly unhappy sometimes, I wouldn't be able to experience:

• the confidence to pursue my dream to motivate others
• the satisfaction of setting a goal and achieving it...successfully
• the joy of fitting into everything in my closet
• the pleasure of running again in a sports bra sans the **rollage
• the passion for my own health and well-being
• the love for really healthy food
• the tenacity to push myself a little more each day
• the commitment to journal every meal, snack and handful I've eaten in the past two months
• the dedication to lead by example
• the willingness to become humbled

Sincerely,
Motivation Mama

p.s.  I'll be sending my before and after pics soon!

A Virus Won't Run Its Course

As dedicated as I am to my workouts, I feel I am equally dedicated to motivationmamadrama. However, mmdrama caught a BAD virus and is on temporary hiatus, leaving this mama down on her spirits. Unfortunately, there are many acts of maliciousness out in Cyber World intent on corrupting my computer. Therefore, my home access to blogging has been extinguished for the time being. NOW, I know what child feels like to have to relinquish a pacifier or heaven forbid, a blankie.


I feel lost and out of sorts. But I’ll be back shortly. Suffice to say, if only a computer virus would just run its course and be back in tip tock shape in a week or so.

Unfortunately, in computer terms ‘Run its Course’ = $$ and mamadrama time

My TOP 10 valuable lessons I’ve learned without a computer in the past few days of Bloggedless.

1. Patience – I will not learn nor be the end all and be all of blogging in one month. Trying to do too much too soon leads to injuries…OR horrible computer viruses.
2. If it looks like a scam, eats away at your computer like a scam, gives you a bad feeling it’s a scam, then by all means, DON’T GIVE IT YOUR PERSONAL BANK ACCOUNT information. IT’S A SCAM! That confession runs right up there with my Non-Dairy Creamy Addiction reconciliation.
3. Slamming a half a bottle of wine at 2:00 a.m. to help me sleep does not count as calories to my food journal. Extreme stress and anxiety completely justifies this horrible act of self-sedation.
4. Nothing eases stress like an Insanity Workout. There’s no time for thinking other than thinking how much is left.
5. Yep, Dancing With the Stars = Still BAD. Something about how proud TO is of Ochocinco for his waltz is just wrong and a big ol’ time waster.
6. Shaun T is much less intimidating on a 5” DVD screen.
7. Telling me not to worry and there is nothing I can do about until the morning may sound really great in theory, but in reality….pointless.
8. Telling myself… “This too shall pass” really does work, if only it worked during the last interval of Plyometric Circuit!
9. I rediscovered an old habit that was a staple during marathon training LONG RUN Saturdays. You may have heard of it. Kids hate them, adults rarely have time for them, but it’s essential for rebuilding and re-energizing. A nap.
10. I realized the most important people in my life are...(1) A friend to vent to…(2)….a husband to provide rationale….(3)….a son to play legos with….(4)…. another son to keep me ‘INSANE’…(5)…a friend that knows computers that can give me the hook up!

INSANITY UPDATE: Hard to believe but we’re already half-way through Week 3. I’m proud to say, neither Keelan nor I have missed a workout. He has put on some weight!!! Great news! That boy is eating…FINALLY! Even better, I have lost 5 lbs and feel fantastic! I’ll be traveling to California the rest of the week for work but rest assured Shaun T will be snuggly secured in my carry-on. I’m hoping to keep you posted from the road!

Stay Strong! Stay Motivated. I’m Rhonda L and I’m outta here. Peace out!
(Sorry... Shaun T is wearing off on me!)

Confessions of a Non-Dairy Creamer Addict

Hi, my name is Rhonda, and I'm a recovering non-dairy creamer addict.  That's right.  Let the truth set me free!

I think we all have a bad habit or vice. But my 'vice' was my morning ritual of putting a lot, and when I say a lot, I don't mean a few teaspoons, I'm talking about a 1/2 cup or more into my coffee (my crack).  Dear God, I'm wincing at the confession. 

I hear the fastest way to recovery is to speak the truth.  Well, then let the authenticity run through my veins.  In other words, I was getting high with my daily dose of partially hydrogenated, corn syrup, artificial flavor heaven!  I checked myself into the Shaun T Insanity Asylum and I am now recovering.

I just did the math,  a single serving of my non-dairy creamer is one (1) teaspoon.  If I'm using at least 1/2 cup (oh, plus the packet of hot cocoa mix), my label would look more like the label below.  Many days, well...most, I would have two doses of this powdery white substance, aka...my drug of choice.

So when I THOUGHT I was eating so healthy and just had one teensy, little bad habit, I was adding about 500 extra calories of crap to my morning.  Not to mention all the fat grams.  My arteries are cringing.  I did mention I usually had two right? 

Today I'm recovered and I have no been clean for nine days.  Thank you Shaun T for making me accountable for what I eat!  I have to say, it's really not a struggle at all anymore.  This was just a bad habit and this exercise in getting real with myself has been extremely beneficial for me. 

I would encourage you let your truth out.  What bad habits are you hiding?  Is that what it is, just a bad habit?  Are you smoking behind the tree before work, inhaling chocolate bar after chocolate bar from your secret stash drawer, licking the grease from your fried bologna with cheese midnight snack?  If so, skip the confessional and let your truth out.  Your body will thank you for it!

Labor Pains

I would equate my first week of Insanity to being in labor.  Really.  It's a great analogy, especially for all you men who will never experience giving birth. I would recommend giving Insanity a shot; the similarities are striking.

1. Labor starts with little tinges of pain - not enough to make you cringe, but enough to make you feel what is coming. (Warm up)
2. As labor progresses, the pains get more intense. (first intervals)
3. A break - during early labor, you might get a good 5-10 minutes of rest.  You feel like a normal woman again, as opposed to the irrational and crazy woman you'll become again in a few minutes.  This is awesome, but also know what is coming, so you begin to brace yourself. (Recovery)
4. Then, HOLY CRAP....the contractions kick in again, this time much more intense and they last a little longer each time.  At some point, you're not sure you're going to make it through, but you fight, because you know what it will give you. (2-3 intervals)
5. Ahhhh...a little bit more rest, but by this point, you're so tired from working through the first contractions, that before you know it. ...ARRRRRRGGGHHH...it starts one last time. (final interval)
6. The baby is close and you push while your husband shouts with all his might to get your through this and you're so thankful for his support (Shaun T).  When you think you cannot possibly endure another minute of this hell, you give it one final push, leaving nothing and giving everything.  (Last minute)
7. You hear the cries of a baby and all the pain ends abruptly.  All that work resulted in a beautiful human being and it was worth every single moment of pain. (The finish).

I just hope Beachbody doesn't come out with an Epideral DVD.  We all have to endure a little pain to get to where we want to be.

Preparation

My husband is retired from the military so his live and die mottos are Prepare for the Worst, but Hope for the Best and Prepare for the Unexpected. Though I have much admiration for his approach to everything he does, my motto tends to be a little more on the side of Hope for the Best and if the Worst Happens, Cry a little (or a lot) and then Do Something About It. It's quite obvious, he thinks very rationally, I think very emotionally. Shocker, he's a man. I'm a woman.

Day three of Insanity is complete and I'm happy to say my motto is working quite nicely. I can't help but think about where we'll be in nine weeks, so I'm really hoping for the best and I would consider those power jumps to be probably the worst physical exercise I've endured. I haven't cried yet, but if shouting expletives equals tears, then I would say I've cried (a little). I LOVE the fact that the videos show exactly how much time is remaining in the interval. Being able to see that I just have a short time left to suffer thought the pain, I know that I can do something about it. Or as Shaun T said, "JUST FRIGGIN' DO IT".

I know that I can always get through the physical part of the workout especially now that I know what to expect. The mental anticipation kills me and screws badly with my mind. However, I think the hardest part overall is the eating. No, eating is not hard. That has never been and never will be problem. It's counting the calories. It really makes you so aware of all the little extras we sneak in here and there throughout the day. It's all about preparation. Though I feel like I'm eating so much more than I was before, I'm soon realizing with the intensity of the workouts, I may need to up my calories with more quality.

Attached is Day One of my old school diet journal.  I would never do this for an extended time and as a friend inquired today "six almonds, really?"  For now, "yes, really." 

I guess Ced's motto does work for me after all. Preparing for the unexpected! It's hard to imagine me driving through Whataburger (God forbid) at lunch because I didn't take the time to plan my meals.  But when I get really hungry, only he can tell you how lovely I become.  But I wouldn't let that happen.  I've prepared myself for the worst of this workout with efficient meal planning.  I know, not hope, the best results will happen!

Roles

Ever have someone ask you, "tell me about yourself?"  Do you describe yourself with a title, the role you play, or with a series of adjectives?  Perhaps you answer with a overly exaggerated truth.  For instance, my title would be wife, a mother, etc.  I play the role of nurturer at home.  My husband plays disciplinarian.  I'm extremely sensitive, shy at times, outgoing at others.  I'm passionate, loving, moody, impatient, caring and genuine.  All of which could be assets to my personality, but often a hindrance.  I have a hard time holding back my true feelings, tend to be very opinionated and I am passionate about spreading the word of healthy lifestyles. 

When I look in the mirror, I often do not see the reflection that others see.  It has been a long...(a very long) process to see who is staring back at me.  I can often be critical of superficial flaws and am often blinded by the beauty others may see.  But this I know.  In order to tell others about who you are, you must dig deep into the surface of your soul.  What truly makes you happy?  What are you core values?  What is it that you want in life?  When you begin to see the truth in yourself, you will begin to see the true reflection in the mirror.

So tell me about yourself? Think about it? Write it down. If you find yourself with negative thoughts about who you are and where you are today, try describing who you aspire to me? A better mother, a more compassionate wife? Are you the listener, the talker, the loyal friend? Does the way you describe yourself reflect your true identity? If not, when will you start living the life you are intended to live?

INSANITY UPDATE:  Tomorrow is a day of rest and then the Insanity begins!  Dig Dig!  Shaun T, you might break me, but I won't fail you.  Quitting is not an option!  www.beachbody.com/Insanity