In the midst of some pretty awesome things that are going on in my life, I have struggled lately with a certain facet of my day to day. It's a topic that I rarely talk about on this blog, so just for my mom's sanity...let's just say it's a word that rhymes with jerk and it normally lasts from 8-5 Monday through Friday. You get the point.
After an absolutely fabulous weekend, I immediately entered the realm of stressful stomach knots and anxious fidgeting Monday morning. The good thing about my stress is that it keeps me very focused on the personal goals I have in life. I've all but cut out television from my life, except Sunday football of course and have set some concrete goals for my life in the next year.
Yet, those backflips in my stomach linger. Yesterday, I hit a breaking point. A few trips to the bathroom during the day to cry my eyes out, a lot of self doubt, feelings of hopeless and self-pity were just a few emotions I experienced. I get tired of complaining, but sometimes I just need someone to listen to you who will be real and compassionate with me. Thankfully, my dear friend was there to listen to my slobbering tears on my drive home from jerk.
When I get home, usually the anxiety will subside once I see my family, but yesterday it just stuck around like an unwelcome mother-in-law visiting for a month. I eat really fast, I fidget, I don't sleep well and I will work out like there's no tomorrow to defend the demons of my anxiety.
My prayer for a long time has been for good things to come for my family. It's the one thing I always ask for each night while I lie in bed. It's very generic, but in reality, my family and our happiness is the one true purposeful thing that means more to me than anything. So to me, it's very specific.
After fighting the anxiety, while tyring to go about my normal day, I sat at my son's soccer practice. Normally, I would drop him off and try to squeeze in a million things in during the hour he practices, but tonight, I got out my chair and I just sat there as it slowly started to mist.
Then the greatest thing happened. The skies opened up and a double rainbow appeared. I didn't quite have the same reaction as guy that is all over the internet (I'll let you look it up), but it was the most peaceful, spiritual moment I've had in a long time. I just knew right then that my prayers were being answered and that 'good things' lie ahead for my family's future.
This post is inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.
Tell us about a day you were sure you wouldn't get through.
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