Monday, February 7, 2011

My Confession

A confession.  I don't always practice what I preach. 

I admit it.  Sometimes it's really hard for me to have the positive self image I teach you to embody.  It's something I have battled since I've been a chubby little girl.  And for the past couple  of weeks, I have been struggling. 

I try not to get caught up in the numbers game and I rarely stray from my workouts.  Self discipline has never been my issue.  Self image on the other hand is often a difficult pill for me to swallow. 

I admit that I stare relentlessly at times at myself in the mirror before I enter the shower, sucking in that, tucking under this.  It's a practice I'm not proud of, but I would not be honest if I said I never struggled.  I do.  Often.

And right now, I'm in one of those 'struggles'.  With the recent ice storm that hit our area and not being able to run for over a week, I feel at times like I am living outside of the body I know and have slowly learned to grow and love.  A different Rhonda has been invading my space lately and I don't like her.at.all.

I have been thankfully able to do my Insanity workouts at home, but this round is much different than when I first did it last summer.  Then, I took weekly updated pictures and I was so proud of my progress.  This time I'm not seeing or feeling those changes.   Perhaps it's because I'm not working hard enough or not as inspired or maybe I've just plateaued.  Whatever the reason, I'm ready for a change.  I will always love this workout, but it's time to put it on the shelf and try something new for a while.

I won't quit.  I'm not a quitter.  I'll finish the next 18 days and then I'll completely start something new, something fresh.  Something different to shock by body back to where I'll be excited take those weekly pictures again.  Perhaps I just might take that P90X plunge afterall and make it a perfect complement to my running.

So that's how I get through these slumps.  I make a plan, I allow myself a little self-pity (it feels good) and then I'll get back to where I need to be.  A slump is NEVER a time to give up on yourself and that is hardly in my plan.  I just need a little mental restructuring.  The physical will come.

Until then, here's my favorite shot taken last summer when my little Jackson kept sneaking in the pictures without my knowledge.  It makes me laugh and gives me inspiration to move forward and progress.  I want to look this again.  He's my inspiration and this is my accountability.

6 comments:

dtahphotography said...

I am pretty sure you will be back to your old active self within no time :)

Mrs. K said...

Dang girl, you look good :)! I so appreciate your honesty and real-ness. I think we all get in those little slumps once in a while but as you said you have to plan to get out of them and it sounds like you are doing a good job at it. Actually I was just beating myself up for not seeing tremendous improvement btw fit test 4 and 5. But I got over that too. I have to keep reminding myself that it's a journey. I also had to get rid of my scale so I don't obsess over my weight. I haven't weighed myself in more than 6-7 months and I feel better about myself. Thanks for sharing and I know you will get out of this little funk soon :)

jillconyers said...

I speak from experience when I say you will get through this struggle.

Rhonda I'm amazed by how much we have in common. Discipline I can do. Self image is another story all together. Make a plan. That is always my answer.

Re. round 2 of insanity. I'm noticing the same thing with round 2 of P90X. I'm not noticing the same results. But then again I started round 2 with a different body than I started round 1. Make sense? My plan is to add P90X Plus to give my body the shock you referred to.

Try P90X. You'll love it and I'm finding that with a few tweaks it compliments running perfectly. I just read an article in Runner's World that talked about upper body strength and running. Perfect :)

fitnstitchin said...

Thank you so much for your honesty, I am right there with you! Those slumps are the worse but you can overcome it as fast as it came! I love mixing it up a bit and just taking a break and not feeling bad about it. It's fun to shake things up :-) One day at a time and you will be right back there! ~Take Care

DB said...

As a friend of yours, I'm so proud of you on a daily basis. This post just adds to the list in your acknowledgement that we all get in slumps from time to time. I have no doubt that you'll come up with a new routine soon to get you back in the groove. As far as seeing noticeable differences, I think you have to remember how far you've come and how hard it is to continually see those changes. Maybe you should go back to something you love and haven't done for awhile such as bikram yoga? I mean, a 105 degree room in the cold weather you've been having would be heaven! Anyway, thanks for this post and I look forward to seeing what comes next.

Lynn said...

It is hard sometimes to walk the walk and not just talk the talk - especially when our blogs are about nutrition and a healthy lifestyle. Thank you for showing us behind the veil and some straight talk along with it.

My best, Lynn
*I love your blog, Iet's follow each other!

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