My Five Minutes With Oprah

It's a New Day!  It's a New Day-AY!

ALL NEW:  The women behind the movement that has motivated thousands of people across the country to get off their booties and start living healthier lifestyles.

Screaming women, bright solid-colored sweaters, more screaming.

PLEASE,  sit down. Sit everyone. Sit.

So today my show is about women who have inspired a fitness movement across our country and let me just tell you, even I am inspired.  My first guest is Rhonda Layton, but you may know her simply as Motivation Mama.  Watch this.

(short video footage of me running at crack of dawn, working out, motivating large crowds of people) 

audience applause....

Please help me welcome RHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAYTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

I come out from the back entrance (since the side entrances are reserved for the A-listers).  Oprah and I share a two arms up, clutched, shaking-hands embrace.

I sit, she waits for me and then she seats herself.  My hair looks fab.  My make-up flawless. Every guest looks amazing on Oprah.  It's the lighting...for sure!

O:  So tell me Miss MAMA DRAAAAAMA, where in the hell do you get the drive to get up every morning to run or do that crazy Insanity workout?  I'm tired just watching it.

MMD:  First of all, I believe in setting goals Oprah! And right now, I am happy to say, I can check one off my list.  It's been a dream of mine to be a guest on your show. 

(aaahs from audience and another hand-clutch embrace)

I honestly feel that in order to get anywhere in life, you have to work really hard.  It's so important to me to lead and motivate others by example and how can I call myself Motivation Mama if I'm not living what I teach.

O:  I couldn't agree more.  But I think the difference is you look happy in the video my producer just showed when you're running.  I have NEEEEEEEEVER been happy running in my life.  Have you always been fit and healthy?

MMD:  Are you kidding? I was the fat kid growing up.  I couldn't even run a mile.  I ate when I was bored, depressed or happy. 

O:  Really, so what changed?  Where did you find the drive to become so dedicated?

MMD:  It was  a long process Oprah.  I always wanted to be healthy ...and skinny.  Who doesn't?  I just didn't have the right mindset.  Instead of accepting myself, I was picking apart every possible flaw I had.

O:  Don't we all! (head nods)

MMD:  Then one day perhaps someone said something or did something that triggered something in me.  It motivated me and I started to set goals for myself by writing things down on paper.  First small goals, then bigger goals and it became easier to focus on accomplishing things when I had something to work towards rather than just having wishful thoughts in my head.  Falling in love with running became a secondary bonus!

O:  Well, Miss MAMA DRAMA (I'd lose the Drama part by the way), you have started a movement and more women than ever are starting to put themselves first and are getting healthier so they can be better mothers, wives, daughters.  How does that make you feel?

MMD:  Of course that makes me incredibly happy, but I didn't do the work for all of these women.  I believe my purpose in life is to be that medium to inspire and motivate and all the rest is up to all these beautiful women ...and oh...those three men in your audience too!

I direct my attention to the audience.

So many of you never thought you could run a mile or had the time to prepare healthy meals for your family.  Now look at all of you!  You're setting aside time in the day for your workouts, you're packing healthy lunches for your children AND you're happier when you're doing it. 

O:  Well, Miss Motivation, it has been a pleasure and I cannot let you go until I tell you thanks for being so open about your pooping episodes.  After all those Dr. Oz segments, I'm so glad I'm not the only one bragging about my s-shaped poops!

MMD:  Well Everyone Poops Oprah.

Producers cut to commercial.  I give one last hand-clutch, arms in air shake with Oprah.  I take a few post-O pictures in front of the studio to document my experience.

***These pictures are real when I did actually attend a taping of Oprah.  This interview is completely fictional...although I do hope one day it will come true!***

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Oprah says we all have a story. If you were on her show, what would your story be? What would you be talking about? What advice would she give you? Write about it and provide a snippet of your interview together.