Gnat So Funny!

Wednesdays are typically my HARD running days. I usually log about six miles, 20 minutes of which are run at a fast (I can’t hold a conversation) pace. The rest is an easy pace home. I wake up around 5:00 a.m. and with the days getting shorter, the majority of my runs are spent in the dark. Depending on the path I choose, it can be pretty dark or REALLY DARK outside. I loath the “dreadmill” and prefer to hit the streets. I have no fear of the pitch black, dark outdoors as long as I’m running, otherwise I’m a total chicken and I admit, I still get scared of it when I’m home alone. It’s weird, I know.

This morning, I noticed a lady, across the street walking her dog. It is my policy to always say “hello” to anyone I pass. I usually get a reciprocal response, but I often get a defensive “stay the hell away” gesture.

I happened to pass her just as I was running under a street light. I guess in the midst of making my friendly gesture, I missed the GIANT swarm of gnats headed straight for my face. I didn’t see them coming at all and I did one of those crazy dances trying to get them all off of me. I’m pretty sure the lady enjoyed watching that scene transpire much more than she would have enjoyed a friendly “hello”.

Two things you should know about me. 1. I’m a runner. 2. I HATE bugs, spiders, snakes, lizards…anything creepy crawly, especially anything that has ability to fly or hop. Any kind, any size, any color, I’m so not a fan.

After emerging from the giant cloud of gnats, and finishing my crazy dance, I continued on down the road. I wasn’t going to let this ruin my run. I sweat A LOT when I run, so every single gnat that came in contact with my body was now sticking to me. I wiped my eyes and forehead and had them all over my arms, inside my fingernails and I’d probably eaten at least several dozen. But I kept running.

When I finally reached my house, I went inside to gulp a glass of water laced with gnats. I noticed my husband look at me funny, but he’s always half asleep when I get home. He’s used to seeing me at my finest! I made a dash for the shower and when I saw myself in the mirror, I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically.

I wish I would have taken a picture of myself, but I had to get the disgusting things off me. My best interpretation would be something like this.

My neck, which I failed to consider wiping, was covered in the gnat mess. DIS-GUSTING!! They were all over my forehead, arms, chest and my eyes. I didn’t look inside my mouth but I would suspect that I would have looked like I just ate a giant poppy seed muffin.

I may hate bugs, but I’m runner. I don’t give up or quit when faced with adverse conditions. Besides, its good prep for a marathon! Score another for Rhonda’s battle wounds!